Wind-Water

Both of us decided to get ‘nest’ of our own after years of ‘parasite’ on my in law home. We finally agreed on the semi-detach property, I was busy dreaming of how to decorate it to become the model house of the whole BM or at least the whole Taman.

My pillow partner came round to tell his concern on Feng Shui (The words 'feng shui' literally translate as "wind-water"in English), I was kind of getting cold ice showered in the winter, feeling furious as to why he still didn’t believed the astronauts in the moon ? There were no ‘Chang Er’(Chinese fairy), neither do there had the tree and rabbit in the moon.

Coincidently, Lillian Too the Feng Shui master was in town to promote her books, I decided to bring my hammer to tear down her Feng Shui signboard, I want to see and know how the Feng Shui cheat all the people especially my so called ‘Educated’ partner.

I went with my brother, at least two people do the tearing job easier. There were packed in the hotel seminar hall, Lillian Too introduced Feng Shui in a scientific way and manner, everything was so true, so real, so promising and yet there were evidence of Feng Shui.

Yours truly was totally convinced in the short 2 hours talk, both my brother and myself had forgotton our mission, and ended up buying more than 8 books each, waited like the little fans in the queue of 1KM long getting Lillian to autograph. I left the hall without bringing the hammer back.

Now, my brother was a staunch Feng Shui practitioner where I had decorated my home according to all Feng Shui aspects. And I also become 10 times more Feng Shui than my partner.

I deserve the Best DRESS Award

Dressing accordingly is important for work area, when I was in the college, we were taught on grooming and deportment, to make sure that we don’t wear bikini and pyjamas to work.

Since then I change my wardrobe to office wear, blouse, shirt, skirt, scarf, accessories and pantyhose -> (guys, I hope u know what is this).

Of lately, there was this engineer commented that I have wrong color matching, maybe at times, I just overlook. So, I just be a bit cautious and spend some time in front of wardrobe.

Not long later, I put on brown turtle neck long sleeve blouse where the fabric had some glittering gold line, and the same engineer smiled and told me that I look like the person working in the bar (or bar girl in the good old day). I am cursing him in my mind that he gets strike by the signboard on the 5 foot walkway. So, I spend a little more time in front of wardrobe again.

I love being look slim when the weighing machine doesn’t co-operate with me, I dress up black with black panty hose, here comes the fat engineer popping his head on my cubicle, smiling with naughy look and said ‘mommy, I will present you a broom.’ ‘You look just like the witch’. Before I could respond he zooms off with hehehehee…. Sounded very much like the wicked wizard riding on the broom. If I am the real witch, I will turn him into big big and fat fat mee-ku bun (Chinese pink bun), throw him in Somalia and save the people there with no famine for next 5 years.

Years later, I started used to the comment given, ‘looks like principal, butler, spinster, cow boy, stage performer etc. etc’.

Being able to dress for many characters, I truly believed that I deserve the Best Dress Award. And if I have the magic wand, I will make sure famine free in Africa, India and other part of the world that need me.

916 Gold or ??

When women mentioned 916, it means gold, but when men mentioned 916, it means political restructuring.

Today is 916, where it was a great day everybody looks forward, I went out to do marketing, everything seems peaceful and calm, except the uncle and aunties pointing at the newspaper talking about 916.

I was advised to stock some dry stuff, hmmm… just in case something turns up to be not so pleasant.

Over the dinner during Mooncake Festival, 916 was our dessert, the kia su me speaks like the expert telling how I help boost the economy by buying excessive food to weather the unforeseen circumstances. My brother said loudly with surprise, ‘huh ?? You are still talking about storing food yah ? We are talking about keeping cash and passport to get out of the mess.”
I was stunned and got caught over their advancement in Crisis Management, yah wor… just like the Vietnam war then, everybody got excess to overseas with their accumulated wealth, those poor one will have to stay put and suffer.

I sink down and rooted in the chair silently thinking how to cash out my account, sell share, sell unit trust, sell house, sell land, buy gold, renew passport, book air ticket, etc & etc. Haiyoh… too much of thinking caused my brain to shock the brain waive circuit, putting extra weight for me to shoulder over 916 visions.

Sigh… we are just the commoner where we just merely hope of peace and stability.

Hot or Very Hot

Our office temperature was set high to conserve electricity, some kind of costs saving project initiated by some kind of nation from desert. Our complaint will be either hot or very hot.

The females will be seen as dressing less, lighter & thinner, from long sleeve to short sleeve, from thick to thin, from broad strap to spaghetti strap, from maxi to mini skirt. The male had no way to change, but to let go a few more shirt buttons to expose the non sexy hairy chest.

For female, no point putting on make up as it will get melt, the mascara will flow down like river, the face compact powder will get soak and crack like the desert floor.

This month – September, we experienced frequent rains, this is the first time in the year where we actually get the feeling of “cold” in the office, super nice temperature of 22.8C, and just like spring in Australia, (minus the flowers)

We were seen in long sleeve and some of us were putting on warmer.

We happened to bump into the ‘desert nation’, where he questioned us with cared and concerned, ‘you people feeling cold yah?” Without hesitation I answer “No, just that I got fever.” Another colleague of mine answered that she had Hypothyroidism. So, it is common to feel cold despite the hot temperature.

No matter how, we will never admit that we feel cold for fear that the temperature will be adjusted higher and hit further cost saving target.

Passion for Pet - Part 1

After watching too much of Astro program on Animal Planet, my home ended up with a lot of surprise visitors namely cat, dog, bird, frog, spider, monitor lizard, grasshopper, beetle, dragonfly, and yet to know animals.

There was once that my son V brought this big black spider back from school, the size was 4” to 5” wide, it is kind of scary looking creature. V promised to let it go after keeping it just for a week, but an hour later the scary spider went missing in V’s room. We search fanatically and turn his room into tsunami scene, but no avail, my little 6 yrs boy L asked, “Mom, is the spider poisonous? Will it be hiding some where in the dark toilet, n sting us on our bum?”, I was stunned and cool sweat rolling down from my forehead, the spiderman scene came flashing in my mind, we call for immediate evacuation, to move the 2 boys to my room for the night. We keep all the doors closed in V’s room, we stuffed fabric underneath the door gap, and close all windows to ensure that spider was trap in the room without at large to elsewhere.

I have endless spider man dream on the night, human crawling on the wall, human head spider body, giant spider, cob web, and unexpected monster scene.

Our search continues when the sun rises again, I am armed with mosquito spray and butterfly net, where V with just a plastic container (hmmm… he still hoping to get that thing alive), I am extra cautious & careful, for fear that it fall from the ceiling, or it crawl up my leg.

V managed to capture the spider with least effort……….what a great relief. Unfortunately, this did not serve as a deterrent, yet we still receive weird visitors from time to time.

Boss?? Books !!

I believe my boss past life was a teaching professor, his passion in teaching is being carried forward to this present life. I truly believe that we were his formal student before and continue to be.

Now working for him, we were given assignment after assignment, we were given book, periodic & magazine to read, to understand, to discuss, to summary and to present our assignment in PowerPoint, and we are rated for our presentation performance.

Sigh… how can we improve our speed from 1 book in 2 years to 1 book in 2 months?

Sigh… the book keeps sending us to sleep, we need to use toothpick stand to keep our eyes open

How I wish that cash can be found in between the book ?

How I wish that it works like Chinese spirit medium, get the book burn , ashes mixed with water, drink it, sleep well, wake up and everything in our mind.

No matter how I wish, I still need to "chew up" & digest every single word in the book, get set and go for the presentation.

For the Ghost ? Deities ? or the Men ?

A group of aged aunties meet up for Tai Chi every morning in the park, they used to update the happening after the session.

On the recent Phor Tor or Hungry Ghosts Festival, one of them expressed utter disagreement for the ko tai (modern stage show) performance.

"Hai yoh yoh… the ‘Ko Tai' singers wear so less and so see thru, can see so much of her body" one of the silver hair auntie speak out loud.

"yah lor yah lor !! I can even see her panties when she do the dancing, really choy !! makes me poorer for not striking Magnum & Toto this week" the black mole auntie swings her towel with dismay. [Chinese believes bad luck upon see panties]

"How can this happen? Where is the respect shows to Tai Shu Yah God, and I feel shame to bring my grandson there, so shame shame ??” interrupted by white hair auntie.

The spicy gossips when on …. with their saliva showering the lawn.

The makeshift stage was located in the big field of the Taman, more than 100 plastic stools were provided for the audiences. The loud music blares throughout where the ENT doctor will walk smiling to the clinic with increasing patient. [ENT = Ear, Nose & Throat]

The front few rolls were occupied by the silver hair groups. Here comes the young, pretty show girl walking into the stage, she gains immediate welcome by the loud applause from uncles. Some uncles cling on to the very front stage where they have forgotten the advice they once given to the young for getting eyesight ruined by viewing too close.

With soft and sexy voice the singer murmured, every movement and gesture will thrill and hook on uncles’ naughty soul. Uncles go with the rhythm, making eyes contact, clapping with joy for song after song.

The fast-paced and loud music will make heart race faster, the sexy & revealing attire will cause nose to bleed, and provoking dance will let the foamy saliva oozing out.

Is the ko tai for the Ghost ? Deities ? or the Men ?

My dad & Ms Freggie

My dad keeps a pet frog for his past time, the frog is named Freggie, she is slim and sexy when she set foot in my family, she can hop and she is allowed to move freely from back lane to kitchen and to bathroom. She lives on the insect crawling & flying in my house with her powerful long sticky tongues.

The time has come when both ant & fly extinct in my home, to sustain her life, my dad started to hunt for her food, dad will go round neighbor houses, neighbor taman, his office, my office and every where with the plastic swap, the flies will make the delicious meal for Freggie.

Whenever Ms Freggie appears in the toilet, my mom will strike 4D, so Freggie unofficially become our God of Cai-Sheng (the wealthy god that brings money).

I happened to bump into Freggie last week, Freggie had since changed a lot, she stay permanently in the toilet, she put on a lot of weight and shape like Chinese ‘mee-ku’ bun (Chinese pink bun), her legs no longer afford her heavy body weight, and she lost her ability to hop, in fact, she crawls like a tortoise, and she looks like the ugly toad in the Star War movie.

I sigh…. and sigh again….

Taste Buds Party

To breakaway the plain, tasteless & healthy diet at home, we choose to pamper our taste buds by dining out during weekend, in replace with all the so call garbage and unhealthy food.

The less healthy the tastier it is, we responded by licking and polishing the plates, the restaurant owner welcome us by giving further discount for helping in cleaning.

In practical, we eat what ever eatable, those fly in the sky, run on the earth and swim in the water, except the‘phor tor’ food offer to the ‘Hungry Ghost’.

There are also times that we found ourselves trapped into the maze with the ‘ciak har mi?’ (what to eat?) puzzles.

To unsolved it, I started to find out from ‘tam ciak’ friends, colleagues, neighbours and off lately move on to blogs hopping.

I bumped across the following 2 sites that introducing food throughout Malaysia, especially where I stay - Bukit Mertajam & Penang.

Here are the link:-
Malaysia Food Blog, Malaysia Travel Blog (http://www.vkeong.com/)
Penang Tua Pui (http://www.penangtuapui.com/)

My taste buds have since been partying all weekend long.

Bon Appetite!

Go Green for a Week

Green Environment Week was carried in our work area, to show our support, employees were encouraged to dress in green on the last day of the week.

Our office partitions were green, chairs were green, and with the green outfit makes us look like trees in the jungle.

Going green has stirred a whirlpool in our deadly ‘mourning’office. Our routine greeting of “good morning, chin jia ai kun nia (so sleepy) become :-
- Wau, you so green
- Wau lau eh.. green shoes, green hair pin, green ear ring
- Yee! your green is not green enough
- Wei, this is called green meh?
- (whisper) Boss got wear green bor?

Sharing the going Green topic, office politic was put aside, stabbing knife, screw driver and throwing dart were kept in the drawers, making the environment peaceful and harmony without pollution.

Later in the green afternoon, some suggested to those that wearing green but not green enough to have their eye sight examine, some suggested to save the green by squeezing out the so green & too green ink from the shirt for office use (need to wet the shirt first before squeezing), some suggested to staple green leaves on those who did not wear green. Some suggested to collect some fund to buy green outfit for those who don’t have it. Some suggested to use stabilo highlighter to get the face paint. Oops… some suggest to contribute green hat for guy (green hat is taboo in Chinese, meaning that girl friend or wife is cheating by having affair)

Hmmm…. here comes the war again.

See our Green pokok at work

Beware!! We have Ah Long in the office

Getting loan from finance or bank, you risk your property being seal or tow away.

Getting loan from Ah Long, you risk your life, and get famous in no time, where your house is being paint, or your photostated IC posted in the whole Taman lamp post, and you can also partner with Micheal Chong to scold Ah Long in the newspaper.

In office, not paying your colleague promptly, you will get paint, seal & popularity as well.

This incident happened in my office, where RM9.22 KFC lunch bill was involved. Paint was seen all over the office cubicle, the entrance was sealed with masking tape, computer was spilled with paint, threatening notes were seen everywhere in the office.

See ... blue collar Ah Long at large in the office.

You too, deserve a laugh

My colleagues recommended these two comedians’ sites, where it tickled my funny bone and I was laughing my head off. They are so funny and comical. View thru and you too, deserve a great laugh.

1. Russell Peters - Canadian based comedian. Features include biography, news, press releases, concert dates, gallery, FAQs, forum, weblog and merchandise. His Youtube videos have been viewed by over 6 million individual viewers (you may view his talk by viewing in Youtube

2. Comedy court - The Malaysia’s foremost Comedy Courtiers, Allan Perera and Indi Nadarajah. (Since 1996 they have delighted us in their alter egos as Loga and Singam, Mat and Din, the Two Dato’s, KC and TC, Myrtle and Thavi in such memorable acts as Quid Pro Quo, Res Ipsa Loquitur, The Executive Spa, Who wants to be a Billionaire, Men-a-pause, The Usual Suspects and The Comedy Court Review).

Hope you enjoy it.

Desperate Hawkers

Young Mei Mei, my colleague went out to tar-pao (take away) chicken rice for us, the tao-ge-soh (lady boss) was nice and friendly to her, flattering her with all the complement she get in a year, whispered softly in her ear telling her that she is giving extra Asam soup, for she like her very much, she gave Mei Mei her name card, just by the call in advance, she will enjoy express service where waiting time is eliminated.

Mei Mei was impressed and we got tao-ge-soh story as a side dish for lunch, her happy soul was hovering in the air, showing her 3 middle fingers she swear that she would be faithful to tao-ge-soh and eat chicken rice for the rest of her working life. I almost throw out my last mouth full of rice...

The same night, I went to road side hawker to get some ‘pao’ (bun), pao was sold off and the tao-ge (boss) suggested a long list of other things, I yawned and told them I only want pao, tao-ge immediately gave me a name card, and recited the same thing Mei Mei get (minus he likes me lah), no waiting time, save petrol, prompt service, bla, bla, bla. I yawned again… ‘enough tao-ge, I promised to call you when I need pao yah…’, I cut short the conversation.

Sigh… the recent petrol price rocketing has caused everyone to strive harder to keep life moving, maybe tao-ge-soh need to sell 200 instead of 150 boxes of chicken rice to make end needs, and tao-ge needs to sell 200 pao instead of 100....

Yoh! I have got FREE PHONE from TMB

Since my last encounter with TMB on the streamyx issue, both TMB & I have got our relationship entangled, we are no other but snow white, Cinderella and their step mother.

Yesterday, TMB called, trying to lure me to TM office, claiming that I owe them April streamyx bill, my intuition told me that TM could have found new potion for me, well, if I failed to settle within 14 days, they will bring Kapal Singh (lawyer) to see me.
I took emergency leave to TM, the meeting was carried out in harmony mood, they acted professionally, explaining and trying to make me feel comfortable with their mistake on the billing, well, well, this soothe me down. And I choose to take the potion apple by paying the April overdue bill.

Before the hand shake, I told TM that I need to purchase a set of new phone, they offer me a rebate of RM50 if I bring in the old phone, wao wao !! I was screaming with joy inside me, but still acted cool and calm to stay feminine.

Hehehe… laughing inside me, this is too good to be true, I proceed to the phone counter to make my selection so that I can be back on the next day to pick up the set.
The sales person checked thru my phone record, told me that they are giving me a free phone, ah yoh yoh !! FREE PHONE ler… I kind of too stun to react, freeze and lost conscious for 30 seconds, how could this happen? I never bang & break their table legs, never bring petrol & match stick, and why are they treating me so good & special. Can anyone lend me a shoulder for me to cry……? It was so so touching… 100 times more touching than watching Indian movie.

At home, I am toying with the new phone features, still wondering why and how I get the phone free.
“Why am I entitled for free phone?”
“Is free phone giving out to everyone?”
“How to qualify for the free phone?”

My above questions remain a mist and unanswered by TM, strange yah, they are giving it out for good course but not doing it openly to the public.

Sun Barbecue

During our family gathering last weekend, my niece was surrounded with concerned aunties, never wish to left behind I am trying to set foot in, struggle with both my hands to part the crowd (like buka durian).

Her mum was coaxing her to remove her hands which she had covered her face and take off her spectacles to show her sun burn. “Ah yoh !!” was the word uttered simutaneously by the crowd, and the busy-caring aunties questioned non-stop, before she could response, the busy aunties came out with all the solution and suggestion.

To me she looks like panda in the negative film, face tan with 2 white rings around her eyes. Such an adorable looks.

To prevent the burn, sunblock is needed, it will help to protect our skin by abosorbing / reflecting UVA and UVB, sunblocks have a Sun Protection Factor (SPF) rating. The SPF rating indicates how long a sunscreen remains effective on the skin.

Here are some calculation on the SPF rating:-

SPF 15 x 10 = 150 minutes (2.5 hrs)

** Same fomula applies to SPF 30, 45, 60 or more.

Meaning that SPF 15 will be effective & protect us from the sun for up to 150 minutes, then reapplied every two hours if required.

Sunscreens should be applied 15 -20 minutes before sun exposure to allow a protective film to develop, then reapplied after water contact and sweating.

With this, we can avoid being barbecue by the sun, and free to go for any outdoor activities such as beach games, swimming, picnic, fishing & so on.

Enjoy our sunny day !!